Disney's Indiana Jones Ride, Bangkok Style!

(Written by David)  Death, I’m sure, was imminent?  We weaved through traffic only for everything to come to a screeching halt EXCEPT for my scooter taxi guy who sped up.  Yes, sped up.  Bus, taxi and car, side by side, completely covered the two lanes.  How are we going to fit?  I have no idea.  Does he know that I’m a farang (foreigner) and twice his size in heighth and width?  As the distance narrows and we get closer and closer to death, nobody moves - that is, except that people come out of the blue and fill the spaces between the three vehicles on the two lane road.  3, 2, 1 – CRASH!  Oh, yeah, forgot about the sidewalk.  Off we go to the next hurdle.

Let me back up…  Pretty sure I would never write on this blog, but after my first scooter taxi ride, my life changed.  These scooter drivers sit in our little moo baan (neighborhood) waiting for people who need a taxi.  When you come out of the gate, you can see them about a block away. That day, I waved one down and he drove straight to me.  Typically, the scooter drivers go get a taxi and you pay them 20 baht ($.60) for this service.  I’m thinking, “Where is my taxi?”  He’s thinking, “Get on!” 

Anybody needing to ride a rollercoaster, just come to Pakkret.  No helmet, no safety harness, no fluorescent vest, no signing of waivers, etc.  I did, however, put on my sunnies, just to be safe.  Let’s just say that mom would not approve.  He, however, tightened his helmet strap.

Neighborhood streets?  Fine, except for the speed bumps, stray dogs, etc.  First main street – traffic is stopped.  No problem.  We use the coming lane to get to the front of the line to turn right.  The light turns green.  No need for a green arrow, we just turn right in front of 20 scooters coming straight at us.  No problem.  They slow down.  Those making a u-turn do not.  But we slip between the gap of two of the cars.  Open road, three lanes, lots of options. 

Next left is congested, but we are following all of the other scooters, so it seems safe.  I finally like red lights.  The traffic stops, we keep going and nobody is trying to hit us.  Open road until cars stop.  No problem.  We swerve around the bus, except there is a car in the lane.  No problem.  Squeeze between the car and bus.  PROBLEM!  Bus door opens, letting school kids out, from the MIDDLE lane.  Don’t think this would pass in America.  We cruise by just as the last kid steps off of the bus and we are both safe – NEVER a question!  All of the other near misses seemed trivial.  This could be a new Disney ride.